I caught an article from Vox ranking the top Halloween candy best to worst and I have some issues with the list.
Obviously tootsie rolls are the worst candy on the planet and the little turds belong at the bottom of any list. However the next three, Mike & Ike, Twizzlers, and Almond Joy should be outraged at being placed so low on the list. Okay, I get the comment that Twizzlers are “the perfect candy for someone who would like to feel the thrill of chewing on a candle.” Touche, but I still love them. Except, of course, black licorice. Those should be banned from existence. It’s what I imagine death tastes like.
Athough the list already lost all credibility by placing Twizzlers and Mike & Ike’s so low, I felt I needed to press on to find out what candy outranked a couple of my personal favorites
The best comment in the article is about Mounds coming in at 22, comparing them to Barb from Stranger Things.
And no one’s mother would really notice if Mounds were teleported to another dimension, because they are aggressively uninteresting
The author must have been smoking candy crack to have placed candy corn and Butterfinger essentially in the middle of the list. Butterfingers are great if you want an instaneous cavity or want your mouth glued shut. M&M’s are highly underrated at 14 on the list.
Adding to my aggravation is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups at number 10. I was hoping the list would redeem itself by ranking Reese’s at number one where it obviously belongs, but I was sorely mistaken. Instead KitKat takes the top honor. KitKat is easily a top 10 Halloween candy, but how can you possibly rank Skittles, gummy bears or Twix higher than Reese’s? What a terrible list!
Of course I realize this all personal preference. Except for Reese’s. There is nothing better in the world than peanut butter and chocolate mixed together in perfect harmony. My top 5 would be as follows;
- Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
- M&M’s (it’s a toss up between regular and peanut. Plain is probably more standard when it comes to Halloween)
- Mike & Ike
I just realized Hot Tamales aren’t on the list! I wouldn’t consider them a big Halloween candy so I’ll let that one slide, but I’d rank them 6th on my list. Can you tell I have a sweet tooth or maybe a dozen? Hard to believe I’ve never had a cavity.